


play-doh murder factory

by Dresupi



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alien Biology, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Attempt at Humor, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, Established Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Happy Ending, Humor, IN SPACE!, Innuendo, Outer Space, Peril, Protective Peter Quill, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, The Blob: Fusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 07:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12552272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: A nice day at the intergalactic mall is ruined by a gelatinous blob of carnivorous space garbage.  This is why we can't have nice things.RUN, DON'T WALK!Day 28 of my Halloween Prompts: The Blob AU/Fusion.





	play-doh murder factory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SweetSigyn (ferbette)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferbette/gifts).



> October 28: The Blob AU/Fusion.

Peter slipped his arm around Darcy’s waist, pulling her with him through a door on their right.  

Darcy mashed down on the button beside the doorway, and a door slid closed just in time to block the gelatinous monster from oozing into the room with them.  She could still see it rolling thickly down the corridor they’d just left, though.  It completely filled the space behind it, blocking the sounds of screaming from the other parts of the huge ship.

A fun-filled day at the intergalactic mall was ruined by some blob-monster flopping into the scene and eating everyone.  

Why couldn’t they have nice things?  Why?

Peter sighed in relief, sliding down the wall and onto the floor.  Wincing, he shifted onto his left hip, inspecting the opposite leg for injuries. “Quick thinking… good on you,  Darce.”

She shot him a Capital-L Look, which was way worst than the lowercase-l-look, but not quite as bad as the ALL-CAPS-LOOK.  She was saving that.  She’d been through enough shit with Peter to know that this likely wasn’t at its worst yet, and she was definitely going to sprain her face if she kept trying to one-up the ALL-CAPS-LOOK. “What is that thing, Peter?”

“Oh, you know… it’s just your regular, everyday, amorphic blob of carnivorous space goo…” he said with a slight shrug.  “I think I might have gotten stabbed on a piece of that overturned food cart… my leg’s--”

“ _ Carnivorous _ ?” she asked, eyebrows shooting up into previously unexplored parts of her forehead.  “Elaborate. Quickly.”

“Okay,  well…” He held out his hand, into which she pushed a medic pack, the one in her purse that she was  _ happy _ to have brought along.”  “Oh… thanks…” He unzipped the zipper and started rummaging around inside. “They usually get… dissolved before they reach this size.  But rarely, one will escape through the sewage evacs and live off space garbage until they ooze back onto a ship…” 

“Or an intergalactic mall…” Darcy provided. 

“Exactly, “ he replied, trailing off.  “Did you pack anything  _ useful _ in this?  Where’s the hemoclot shot thing you brought with you from Terra?” He sighed at the next item he pulled from the kit. A truly industrial sized bottle of antacids. It took up at least half the bag. “Rolaids? Really?”

“The hemoclot’s in there.  You just have to  _ not _ be the galaxy’s worst looker in order to find it… and  _ yes,  _ Rolaids.  Don't  _ judge _ me.  That alien food is spicy!”

“To be fair, that blue bottle of stuff you drank at that last place we went to? Was  _ supposed _ to be a condiment-type-of-sauce and used  _ sparingly _ .” He grinned with barely contained glee at the memory.   

“Yeah, well…  _ you _ certainly weren't in a hurry to tell me that.”

“That's because it was funny and I thought the blue was mild and the green was hot, so I didn’t see the harm in it.  Plus, you should have SEEN the looks everyone was giving you.  Priceless.” 

“You know, the more you make fun of me for that, the less I want to let you use my first aid stash... ” Darcy leaned over, reaching for the kit still open in Peter’s lap.

“Aww, Darce, I’m sorry, Babe…” He shot her his best impression of a sad puppy and she acquiesced the kit with a sigh. 

“That look is criminal, just letting you know.”  She bent slightly, fishing around in the bag for the hemoclot, handing it to him and taking the rest of her stuff.

He uncapped it, jamming it into his thigh and pushing down on the button.  He sighed in relief as the medicine began to work.    

It was a groany, creaky sound at the door and Darcy turned her attention briefly to the small window.  It was completely covered by the brownish-green garbage blob.

“Okay now that you're not in excruciating pain, is there anything else you can remember about the Play-Doh Murder Factory currently trying to eat us?”

The door bolts started popping out from the pressure.  Peter scrambled to his feet and Darcy tucked her stuff back into her bag.  

“Gamora’s dealt with them before.  There’s no way to melee combat with it, you have to dissolve them.”

The last of the bolts popped out of the doorway, the metal bending with a groan as the Blob began oozing in.  

“Okay, okay…” Darcy backed up and Peter slid in front of her.  Totally adorable, but she’d have to adore him later, this was kind of a time sensitive thing.  “How do we do that?”  

“No idea…” he said, looking up and around for another place to escape.  

She gave him the ALL-CAPS-LOOK, her mind spinning as she tried to think of something.  “Acidic or basic?”  

“What?”  

“Are they acidic or basic?  If they’re basic, we need an acid to neutralize it.  Vice versa for acidic.”

He tossed the used syringe into the goop and they watched as it sizzled and dissolved on top of the blob’s surface.  “Acidic?”  

Darcy sighed heavily and reached back into her bag.  She was definitely going to make Peter replace them before they went out to eat at another Alien BBQ place.  

The extra-huge, extra-strength bottle of antacids went spinning into the Blob.  

It ate through the plastic bottle in seconds, but once the chalky little antacids touched the surface, there was a screech like nothing she’d ever heard before.  

Covering her ears, she watched as the thing shrank from the room, peppermint scented smoke rising from seemingly everywhere.  

Peter glanced over at her and nodded.  “Yeah.  Okay.  SO, I owe you one.  And that’s the last time I make fun of your Rolaids, I swear.”  

“I’m cashing in my ‘one’ when we get back to the Milano…” Darcy said.  “I want a foot rub.  Until I’m satisfied.”  

“Babe, I will rub you anywhere you want until you’re satisfied.”  

The puddle of blob remains bubbled and popped, sounding a bit like some rather disgusting bodily functions and smelling not much better.  

“ _ Yeah _ … just the feet will be  _ fine _ …”  

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are LOVE, so maybe leave me some in the comments box? <3 
> 
> If you need some ideas, here are some suggestions that you can totally use! <3 
> 
> "Ew, gross Blob. Totally adorable Darcy/Peter, tho!" 
> 
> "ElectricSlide FTW!" 
> 
> "<3 <3 <3"
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/), if that's your thing! <3


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